


in which the companions get to talk to each other

by silent_h



Series: extended fam [1]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: .....ish, Canon Divergence, Multi, more like: this is what goes on once the doctor's swanned off, more ppl to be added once i get to them i guess?, who needs titles when you can just nick your old one, yeah i wrote Another chatfic it be like that sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 15:15:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16410911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_h/pseuds/silent_h
Summary: so it would've been nice if someone had told the new fam that accepting a strange alien's offer to go travelling in time and space with her also meant being added to the universe's weirdest groupchat??





	1. why isn't there a rulebook for this sort of thing

**Author's Note:**

> hullo i've given in and written another groupchat fic bc they're really fun ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ also the dw groupchat of my own persuaded me and i love them
> 
> if you've read my other one (which yes is still ongoing i'm not abandoning it don't worry) then this one'll be a little less focused on a single group of people? maybe?? hm
> 
> (me: just put all the groups in one fic  
> also me: do a fic for each group do it you coward)

**sexy** added **fuzzygirl** and **donttouch** to the group **howisyourdaughtersohot**

 

**gayinspace** : !!!!!!!

**gayinspace** : hi!!

**actualdoctor** : oh hello! welcome!

**gayinspace** : i mean damn i _literally_ just died but :// whatever

**notthetindog** : hi new people!

 

**legs** changed the group name to **FRESHMEAT**

 

**legs** :ONE OF US ONE OF US

**stupidface** : Amy no

**legs** :AMY YES

**stupidface** : and hi!

**stupidface** : Amy

**stupidface** : Amy you haven’t said hello

**legs** : i said it spiritually

**hellabihellafly** : that’s not how it works

**legs** : you havent said it either????

**hellabihellafly** : I said it spiritually

**legs** : _bitch_

**hellabihellafly** : yeah?

**actualdoctor** : guys you’ll scare the new people off

**notthetindog** : you might have already

**fuzzygirl** : no we’re here we just don’t really know what’s going on??

**actualdoctor** : we’re all here because we have been or are travelling with the Doctor

**donttouch** : oh!!!

**donttouch** : oh thats cool!!

**fuzzygirl** : but how??

**gayinspace** : its the tardis!!

**gayinspace** : she puts us in groups!!!

**notthetindog** : i’m guessing you two are from the 21st century too?

**donttouch** : ye

**donttouch** : well theres 3 of us actually but i dont think grahams phones good enouhg to run this

**donttouch** : i keep telling him to upgade it :///

**legs** : oh yeah get him to join us too!!

**legs** : new ppl are so much fun!!

**fuzzygirl** : that’s uh. slightly weird

**stupidface** : yeah she gets that a lot

**legs** : sure do!

**fuzzygirl** : and we’re from ——

**donttouch** : ???

**fuzzygirl** : what

**fuzzygirl** : what just happened??

**actualdoctor** : if the Tardis thinks you’re going to spoil a future event then she’ll censor it

**donttouch** : ????

**donttouch** : she????

**legs** : oh wow u 2 _must_ be new to this

**legs** : which means the doctor hasnt had time to mention us

**notthetindog** : like that would happen anyway

**actualdoctor** : whoomp there it is

**legs** : ok so!! rollcall losers!

**actualdoctor** : I hope you know I’m sighing

**legs** : counting on it!

**notthetindog** : ok so i’m mickey and this is my wife martha?

**actualdoctor** : hi!

**stupidface** : and I’m rory and this is my wife amy!

**legs** : sup bitches

**stupidface** : and I’m sorry for her

**legs** : why be sorry? im awesome??

**stupidface** : s o r r y

**legs** : :)

**hellabihellafly** : clara, and i don’t have a wife

**hellabihellafly** : y e t

**gayinspace** : hi im bill!!!

**gayinspace** : and oh what a MOOD

**gayinspace** : ive got the BEST gf ever tho :D

**donttouch** : oh nice!

**gayinspace** : she IS!!

**donttouch** : ok so im ryan??

**donttouch** : & uh no wife either i guess???

**fuzzygirl** : hi I’m yasmin

**fuzzygirl** : and uh me neither??

**donttouch** : oh & yh hi whoops

**gayinspace** : ahjashksada

**gayinspace** : ‘welcome to the time travel club do u have a WIFE’

**legs** : ok quick question are any of you skilled in dimensional sciences and/or brain magic

**actualdoctor** : and by brain magic she means xenoneurobiology

**legs** : thats literally what i just said

**donttouch** : dsalkjdsads

**donttouch** : n o p e

**donttouch** : im a trainee mechanic?

**notthetindog** : oh nice!

**notthetindog** : i’m a mechanic!

**donttouch** : !!!!!!!!!!!!

**notthetindog** : if you ever want any tips or help or anything just ask yh?

**donttouch** : tHNAK U YES THATS WOULD BE HELPFUL

**notthetindog** : no prob!

**notthetindog** : if you’re a friend of the doctor then you’re probably alright so

**donttouch** : i mean i dont know abt that

**fuzzygirl** : shut up ryan you’re definitely alright

**donttouch** : oh???

**donttouch** : a compliment????

**fuzzygirl** : hhhhhh

**fuzzygirl** : I take it back you’re the worst

**donttouch** : it b like that!

**fuzzygirl** : and I’m a trainee police officer

**fuzzygirl** : btw

**legs** : YOU ARE N O T

**gayinspace** : oh _w o w_

**fuzzygirl** : um

**fuzzygirl** : yeah??

**fuzzygirl** : I am???

**legs** : SHUT UP THATS SO FUNNY

**fuzzygirl** : ????

**legs** : OSWALD HOW MNAY ILLEGAL THINGS HAVE YOU DONE SO FAR _TODAY_

**hellabihellafly** : ...............uh

**hellabihellafly** : ..................I lost count

**fuzzygirl** : wait

**donttouch** : what

**fuzzygirl** : what?????

**legs** : THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUNNNNN

**fuzzygirl** : no sorry what?????

**legs** : ok back to the question

**legs** : it was bc there should apparently be 2 more ppl here

**notthetindog** : rose and donna

**notthetindog** : rose is trapped in a different dimension

**notthetindog** : and donna’s complicated?

**actualdoctor** : it involves a lot of complicated neurobiology that I don’t really understand

**legs** : yh and shes the smartest one here

**actualdoctor** : wow that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

**notthetindog** : also i guess it’s 3 ppl if you count the doctor’s clone

**donttouch** : tHE DOCTOR HAS A CLONE???

**legs** : well he has a few really?

**actualdoctor** : yeah it weirdly happens a lot??

**donttouch** : ??? he

**legs** : ??????

**donttouch** : yaz???

**donttouch** : he?????

**fuzzygirl** : oh!

**fuzzygirl** : yeah remember when we first met the doctor she said she used to be a scotsman??

**notthetindog** : WAIT

**donttouch** : oh yh!

**gayinspace** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**actualdoctor** : oh my god???

**fuzzygirl** : I guess that was?? literal??

**legs** : s

**gayinspace** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**legs** : _she_

**gayinspace** : mY SPACE GRANDAD IS NOW A SPACE GRANDMA!!!!!!

**actualdoctor** : …..god Jack’s going to be unbearable

**notthetindog** : oh GOD

**notthetindog** : guess i’m not going back to cardiff for a while

**stupidface** : ….so is River

**legs** : IS SHE HOT

**hellabihellafly** : o h

**gayinspace** : o

**stupidface** : of course that’s the first thing you ask

**gayinspace** : oh no

**gayinspace** : _oh no_

**gayinspace** : oh please no

**donttouch** : uhhh

**fuzzygirl** : um

**donttouch** : i mean shes/ kind of weird lookin??

**legs** : well yh obvs shes the doctor

**legs** : but is she _hot_

**fuzzygirl** : uh???

**fuzzygirl** : well yeah

**donttouch** : i guess???

**fuzzygirl** : y e a h

**gayinspace** : w h y

**fuzzygirl** : but like?

**fuzzygirl** : she doesn’t wear normal clothes

**fuzzygirl** : and she’s really awkward?

**donttouch** : shes got like no understanding of personal space either

**donttouch** : and shes worse w words than i am

**notthetindog** : wow he really doesn’t change

**notthetindog** : they???

**legs** : oswald are you still alive or did you die a gay death

**hellabihellafly** : uhhhhhhhhhh

**hellabihellafly** : oh and been there done that

**gayinspace** : SAME!

**fuzzygirl** : ??

**hellabihellafly** : ok ok ok

**hellabihellafly** : how exactly does she look

**hellabihellafly** : and feel free to be as specific as possible

**gayinspace** : feel free not to be

**legs** : down girl

**hellabihellafly** : uh?? no???

**legs** : hello mother in law here

**fuzzygirl** : wait

**donttouch** : uR HER MOTHER IN LAW?????

**legs** : oh god no id rather kill myself

**hellabihellafly** : I’m literally right here

**legs** : i meant that in the nicest way

**legs** : love ya bitch

**hellabihellafly** : yeah yeah

**legs** : & no im not _claras_ mother in law thank god

**hellabihellafly** : I hate you

**legs** : im the doctors

**donttouch** : youre WHAT

**fuzzygirl** : THE DOCTOR’S MARRIED???

**actualdoctor** : i know right??

**gayinspace** : to literally the hottest woman ive ever seen

**hellabihellafly** : She Sure Is

**notthetindog** : amen

**actualdoctor** : hey??

**notthetindog** : as if you don’t have a crush on her either

**actualdoctor** : I mean

**actualdoctor** : in my defence have you seen her

**stupidface** : why does every conversation end up with you lot talking about how hot my daughter is

**notthetindog** : i mean really we’re just complimenting your great genes

**stupidface** : Please Stop Doing That

**hellabihellafly** : no???

**fuzzygirl** : okay but also?

**fuzzygirl** : uh amy

**fuzzygirl** : how old are you??

**legs** : uh?? rude???

**hellabihellafly** : 11 and a half

**legs** : w/e

**donttouch** : yeah yaz dont be rude

**fuzzygirl** : yOU WERE THINKING IT TOO

**donttouch** : god yaz ur so rude smh

**fuzzygirl** : and look I just

**fuzzygirl** : I just meant I thought you were like twenty maybe??

**legs** : well rivers still older than me anyway bc time travel

**fuzzygirl** : .......I kind of hate that that makes sense

**legs** : but yh no im in my 30s

**donttouch** : oh. wow?

**legs** : ha yh thanks its the childhood trauma

**gayinspace** : oh mood

**legs** : excuse me you ARE like 20

**gayinspace** : only on the outside!

**gayinspace** : immortality bitch!!

**fuzzygirl** : do you people get more normal or

**donttouch** : dsaklladskl YAZ

**fuzzygirl** : AM I WRONG???

**stupidface** : doubtful

**stupidface** : sorry for that

**notthetindog** : uh williams didn’t you spend 2000 odd years made out of plastic

**fuzzygirl** : sERIOUSLY WHAT IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE???

**legs** : uh smith didnt you live in an alternate dimension

**notthetindog** : not for 2000 years??

**legs** : oh tru youve got me there

**donttouch** : r u all really old??

**actualdoctor** : ouch?

**donttouch** : i. didnt mean it like that

**actualdoctor** : no i get you

**actualdoctor** : Clara and Bill are immortal and also Clara lived and died about a million different reincarnations?

**hellabihellafly** : basically

**actualdoctor** : Rory’s got ~2000 years of extra memories, Amy’s got like? 4 different lives in her head?

**legs** : haha yeah that really messed me up good

**legs** : :))))

**actualdoctor** : but me and Mickey are mostly normal age wise

**notthetindog** : lucky us

**actualdoctor** : I’m guessing you two aren’t that old?

**donttouch** : um

**fuzzygirl** : not really

**fuzzygirl** : and I feel much younger now

**legs** : glad to be of help

**donttouch** : were 19?

**actualdoctor** : nINETEEN????

**gayinspace** : yES!!!

**notthetindog** : DOC WHY

**notthetindog** : WHY ARE YOU KIDNAPPING CHILDREN

**gayinspace** : YES!!!!!!!

**donttouch** : she didnt kidnap us!!

**fuzzygirl** : ........ry

**donttouch** : well not purposely anyway

**hellabihellafly** : oh classic doctor

**donttouch** : and were not kids!!

**legs** : good god youre BABIES

**gayinspace** : FINALLY

**gayinspace** : PPL WHOLL GET MY REFS

**gayinspace** : hey

**gayinspace** : hey

**gayinspace** : he y

**gayinspace** : new ppl

**donttouch** : ye?

**gayinspace** : rOAD WORK AHEAD?

**donttouch** : uH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

**gayinspace** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**donttouch** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**fuzzygirl** : oh god not vines

**donttouch** : yes vines???

**fuzzygirl** : vine is _dead_

**fuzzygirl** : _move on_

**gayinspace** : :’(

**donttouch** : why r u so mean

**gayinspace** : rip in peace vine 5ever in our hearts xoxo

**hellabihellafly** : ok excuse you though

**hellabihellafly** : but I always get your references????

**hellabihellafly** : I taught at a high school??

**gayinspace** : but you always get them _wrong_

**hellabihellafly** : what

**hellabihellafly** : no

**hellabihellafly** : sounds fake

**gayinspace** : hhhhhhh

**gainspace** : _hhhhhhhhhhhhhh_

**gayinspace** : this bitch empty

**hellabihellafly** : FEET

**gayinspace** : THAT DOEANT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE

**hellabihellafly** : hi welcome to chickpeas

**gayinspace** : STOP IT

**hellabihellafly** : what are THEEEEEEEEESE

**gayinspace** : BAD

**gayinspace** : B A D

**hellabihellafly** :  *looks into the camera like I’m on parks & rec*

**gayinspace** : im going to kill u

**hellabihellafly** : already dead so good luck

**fuzzygirl** : ok again what

**gayinspace** : Ill Find A Way

**legs** : oswald am i gonna have to get the tardis to block you for a bit again

**hellabihellafly** : wow

**hellabihellafly** : just because you had a threesome with her

**stupidface** : oNLY TECHNICALLY

**donttouch** : WHAT

**donttouch** : HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

**legs** : ehhh just dont have sex in the tardis youll be fine

**fuzzygirl** : WHY DID NOBODY GIVE US ALL THESE RULES BEFOREHAND

**hellabihellafly** : it’s more fun this way

**actualdoctor** : although actually there _is_ a rule you should know

**actualdoctor** : you can’t tell the doctor about this

**donttouch** : why not

**hellabihellafly** : it’s complicated

**hellabihellafly** : she won’t know who I am, for one

**legs** : yh and us 2 are definitely _not_ meant to be here

**actualdoctor** : and I’m guessing she won’t like us trying to contact Rose and Donna

**legs** : look i know were a bunch of weirdos and _some_ of us are actually not really good ppl

**hellabihellafly** : just @ me coward

**legs** : but trust us ok you cant tell the doctor

**stupidface** : the tardis trusts us

**stupidface** : and she trusted you guys with this place?

**stupidface** : so please guys

**stupidface** : trust us too

**donttouch** : i do really want to??

**fuzzygirl** : I won’t tell her about this

**fuzzygirl** : but I won’t lie to her

**donttouch** : yh me neither

**donttouch** : shes a space weirdo but shes our space weirdo ya know?

**gayinspace** : oh yh thats cool!

**gayinspace** : its not like shell ask

**gayinspace** : if shes anything like the guy i knew then if she sees u on ur phone shell jst nick it and download a bunch of anime

**legs** : yOU DID NIOT TELL ME HE LIKED ANIME

**gayinspace** : IT NEVER CAME UP

**legs** : WELL ITS COMING UP NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING

**hellabihellafly** : ok but he definitely didn’t like it when I travelled with him so??

**hellabihellafly** : guess that’s on you potts

**gayinspace** : um actually he liked it before i met him

**gayinspace** : so its probably ur girlfriends fault

**hellabihellafly** : sHES NOT MY GIRLFRIEND

**legs** : but you knew who bill was talking abt hmmmmm

**hellabihellafly** : WHO ELSE COULD SHE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

**fuzzygirl** : hey so??

**fuzzygirl** : newbies here????

**fuzzygirl** : who _are_ you talking about??????

**actualdoctor** : evil bastard

**notthetindog** : the master

**gayinspace** : i mean

**gayinspace** : yes and no??

**notthetindog** : not to bring up any bad memories but didn’t they turn you into a cyberman

**donttouch** : into a wHAT???

**gayinspace** : yh the rat lookin version of them did

**legs** : tHE RAT LOOKING VERSION

**gayinspace** : uhhhh put my organs in jars & my brain in a robot

**donttouch** : jesus

**fuzzygirl** : oh god

**donttouch** : r u ok???

**gayinspace** : oh yh!!

**gayinspace** : sdakjldsa sorry alls good now!

**gayinspace** : my girlfriend saved me :D

**legs** : shes a magic puddle

**gayinspace** : yh thats not like a metaphor or anything she literally is a magic puddle. long story

**donttouch** : i

**gayinspace** : an so am i. also a long story

**donttouch** : im???

**donttouch** : what?????

**gayinspace** : but yh so _anyway_

**gayinspace** : the earlier versions of the masters kind of a remorseless killer who thrives on chaos and the destruction??

**gayinspace** : & then missys just kind of a petty bitch

**hellabihellafly** : yeah who also sometimes kills people??

**gayinspace** : woah hey shes not _my_ girlfriend

**hellabihellafly** : SHE’S NOT MINE EITHER

**fuzzygirl** : yeah this is not getting any clearer for us

**fuzzygirl** : also you guys _do_ remember I’m a cop right

**gayinspace** : ok so long story short: the master is the doctors best friend

**gayinspace** : & their ppl put something in their brain and it made them do pretty shitty things

**gayinspace** : the things been taken out now so theyve kind of got a lil more control over themselves??

**hellabihellafly** : also sometimes they’re Just Like That

**gayinspace** : well

**gayinspace** : y e a h

**actualdoctor** : the version of them I knew did really awful things

**gayinspace** : yeah sorry martha

**actualdoctor** : I know it wasn’t 100% their fault but I’m still giving them at least 90% of the blame until one of them actually apologises

**actualdoctor** : and even then it’ll probably only drop to 80%

**gayinspace** : thats prob p fair

**gayinspace** : theyre still kind of the worst tbh

**gayinspace** : but the most recent(?) version of thems more chaotic neutral than anything

**gayinspace** : and claras dating her

**hellabihellafly** : i am NOT

**legs** : its ok i think its cute

**legs** : ur redeeming her thru the power of love and hate sex

**legs** : just like the old fairytales

**hellabihellafly** : shut UP she doesn’t even do that sort of thing

**legs** : ah sorry for assuming

**legs** : *the power of love and petty destruction

**hellabihellafly** : s h u t u p

**legs** : you didnt deny it

**gayinspace** : mhm

**legs** : MHM

**gayinspace** : _MHM_

**fuzzygirl** : um

**donttouch** : ok this was _all_ kinds of weird but also

**donttouch** : yaz

**fuzzygirl** : yeah?

**donttouch** : graham came and fetched me we gotta go

**fuzzygirl** : oh!

**gayinspace** : have fun on your adventure!

**legs** : dont die!

**stupidface** : Amy!

**legs** : what?? its good advice


	2. in which questions abound and the doctor just be like That huh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka like can someone just ask her this once please okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> consistent posting schedule?? never heard of her

**fuzzygirl** : wow you guys have really talked so much since we left huh

**gayinspace** : oh hey yall are back!!!!!!!

**fuzzygirl** : and that was like. yesterday

**fuzzygirl** : hi bill!!

**legs** : ??????

**legs** : i have a lot to say?????????

**actualdoctor** : she really does

**legs** : i kno ur insulting me but im taking it as a compliment

**actualdoctor** : yeah I figured you would

**fuzzygirl** : ok so I have some questions

**legs** : oh and yh hi too were good thanks for asking

**donttouch** : um

**donttouch** : hi guys?

**gayinspace** : hey whats UP you guys welcome to my channel

**donttouch** : sadksakjlds

**legs** : w

**legs** : what

**gayinspace** : ok grandma even u know what youtube is

**legs** : gRANDMA???? no. bad. dont do that

**gayinspace** : i mean like

**gayinspace** : the doctors my granddad so i guess ur technically my great grandma ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**legs** : NO BAD

**donttouch** : grandma its me,,,,,

**gayinspace** : ,,,, _anastasia_ ,,,,,

**legs** : why u 2 gotta talk in riddles all the time

**gayinspace** : oh come on anastasia came out in the 90s ok and ur not THAT old!!!!!!

**legs** : ok first off i dont like the fact u emphasised the that

**gayinspace** : :)

**legs** : and second: hello? memory holes?????

**gayinspace** : oh shit sorry i forgot

**legs** : nah jk ive just never watched it all the way thru

**gayinspace** : i hate u

**legs** : yh yh

**stupidface** : you said you had questions yasmin?

**gayinspace** : wait before you ask anything i have a question

**gayinspace** : the doctors a woman right?

**fuzzygirl** : yeah???

**gayinspace** : no i mean like

**gayinspace** : did she say she was??

**donttouch** : ????

**fuzzygirl** : wait

**fuzzygirl** : um

**fuzzygirl** : no wait she didn’t actually

**donttouch** : oh yeah????

**donttouch** : u said she was a woman and she was like ??? really ???

**gayinspace** : just the universe is Big and we had a convo abt gallefreyian gender + sexuality a while ago

**gayinspace** : and i dont wanna just assume that the doctors a woman just bc they look like one now you know??

**donttouch** : oh

**donttouch** : do you think weve been misgendering the doctor?????

**fuzzygirl** : wouldn’t she have said something??

**donttouch** : i mean i. i dont think she would really

**donttouch** : hhhhhshould i even say she idk!

**donttouch** : i dont wanna be a dick!

**fuzzygirl** : I’m gonna go ask

**gayinspace** : wait u cant tell the doctor were here!!!

**fuzzygirl** : I know! I’m a police officer okay I know how to investigate

**fuzzygirl** : I’m muting yall bc yall are Loud ok see ya in a bit

**legs** : ryan is she a Good Cop

**donttouch** : shes the best!!!!!!!

**legs** : r u just saying that bc shes ur friend tho or

**donttouch** : only partly!!!!!!!!

**legs** : ehh good enough

**donttouch** : oh wait while were waiting i also have question

**actualdoctor** : yes?

**donttouch** : wheres the teacher?? is she ok??

**stupidface** : clara?

**donttouch** : ye

**legs** : doing smth apparently

**stupidface** : she left a message a few hours ago

**stupidface** : said she had somewhere to be and that she wouldn’t be back in a while

**legs** : no idea where tho

**donttouch** : do you think shes ok??

**legs** : aw i like u ur a good egg

**legs** : and its uh. hard to say w oswald

**actualdoctor** : she’s not always very good at making healthy decisions

**donttouch** : oh

**donttouch** : is that why she died?

**donttouch** : srry that s a bad questions sorry i shouldbt have asked that

**gayinspace** : u probably shouldnt no but its fine this isnt exactly a normal situation

**gayinspace** : shell tell u later if she wants u to kno

**actualdoctor** : or we’ll tell you if she’s in danger

**donttouch** : ok thanks sorry

**donttouch** : sorry i dnot always think properly

**donttouch** : im an idiot

**gayinspace** : no!!!!!

**notthetindog** : aw kid no

**actualdoctor** : nope

**actualdoctor** : you’re doing fine Ryan

**actualdoctor** : we’ve all put our foot in our mouths at one time or another

**legs** : i do it every 10 seconds

**actualdoctor** : but that’s ok

**actualdoctor** : ….I was saying that to Ryan not you

**legs** : yh no shit

**fuzzygirl** : I am BACK

**gayinspace** : !!!

**legs** : ooh spill the deets

**fuzzygirl** : ok so the doctor’s exact words at the start were ‘I don’t know or care I’m a lil busy rn yaz I’m blowing up the microwave’

**donttouch** : no!!

**donttouch** : i need that!!

**fuzzygirl** : don’t worry I pushed her onto the weird coffee machine

**donttouch** : thank GOD

**actualdoctor** : wait

**actualdoctor** : does it make green ‘coffee’

**donttouch** : ye

**stupidface** : oh THAT one

**notthetindog** : huh it must have been added after me bc i’ve never seen it

**actualdoctor** : lucky you

**donttouch** : it tastes like the feeling u get when u catch ur ankle on a shopping trolley

**actualdoctor** : that’s

**actualdoctor** : that’s exactly how it tastes yeah

**stupidface** : it really is??

**gayinspace** : hm. wtf

**fuzzygirl** : ok so like when we started talking properly it was like??

**fuzzygirl** : well actually I mean I think she insulted me and all other humans a couple of times

**legs** : oh yeah obvs

**fuzzygirl** : but her main point was that she still didn’t really care??

**fuzzygirl** : she said she wasn’t sure she’d wanna use he/him anymore but that any other pronouns were cool

**fuzzygirl** : then she went on a tangent about time lord pronouns for a while

**fuzzygirl** : there are. many

**fuzzygirl** : _many_

**gayinspace** : oh yh that tracks

**fuzzygirl** : but yh so like she/her they/them xe/xem like whatever it’s fine??

**gayinspace** : ok cool good to know!

**actualdoctor** : yeah that’s good info

**actualdoctor** : referring to multiple doctors is still they though right?

**fuzzygirl** : oh yh

**fuzzygirl** : that was another rant actually

**fuzzygirl** : since there are like specific pronouns for that situation on her planet

**fuzzygirl** : oh and bill!!!

**gayinspace** : oh??

**fuzzygirl** : I did say like _hypothetically_ if she had a gendered title that she used to have in her previous bodies would she change it

**fuzzygirl** : she said it would depend but probably not??

**fuzzygirl** : that it wouldn’t feel right or something

**gayinspace** : _oh._

**gayinspace** : shes still my space grandad :’)

**fuzzygirl** : yeah!

**stupidface** : do you think she’s still our son in law?

**fuzzygirl** : huh. idk sorry?

**fuzzygirl** : I think maybe??

**legs** : its ok well just ask them whenever we see them again

**legs** : i mean after we yell at them for being scottish and NOT VISITING ME

**legs** : whatever its fine im fine

**donttouch** : u uh. dont seem fine

**legs** : _whatever its fine im fine_

**fuzzygirl** : I mean I guess we kinda knew she wouldn’t change that sort of thing

**gayinspace** : we did?????

**actualdoctor** : we did??

**donttouch** : oh

**donttouch** : _oh_

**donttouch** : youre talking abt That arent you

**fuzzygirl** : y u p

**legs** : abt what????

**donttouch** : nope! still not thinking abt that never happened!

**legs** : you cant not tell us now!!!

**donttouch** : dont do it yaz!!

**gayinspace** : ok but now im really curious too????

**notthetindog** : you can’t just hint at something about the doctor and then not say??

**actualdoctor** : unless it’s bad

**fuzzygirl** : well I mean

**fuzzygirl** : it’s bad but it’s not _bad_ if you get what I mean

**actualdoctor** : oh yeah I understand

**actualdoctor** : tell us

**donttouch** : no!!!!

**legs** : tELL US TELL US TELL US

**gayinspace** : look weve all seen that dork do stupid things u cant shock us

**donttouch** : oh shit

**fuzzygirl** : sorry ry you know I can’t resist a challenge

**donttouch** : hhhhhh

**fuzzygirl** : ok so I kinda figured she still went by male terms bc sometimes she keeps using them to refer to herself

**fuzzygirl** : for example

**fuzzygirl** : she keeps calling herself daddy

**legs** : she does WHAT

**actualdoctor** : _regret_

**legs** : SHE DOES WHAT

**notthetindog** : doc why

**stupidface** : wait why is that bad

**legs** : oh rory...my sweet naive beautiful rory…..

**gayinspace** : wow chat over i need to go bleach my brain

**gayinspace** : if u need me ill be hurling myself into the nearest star goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a lot of feelings about time lord gender and sexualitity okay don't look at me


	3. in which things are always better if you're nice to your landlord and this will probably end well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka healthy coping mechanisms? do you mean repression??

**hellabihellafly** : what did I miss

**legs** : oswald!!! youre alive!!!!

**hellabihellafly** : god I hope not

**legs** : You Know What I Mean Bitch

**actualdoctor** : did you manage to stay out of trouble with the law

**hellabihellafly** : I tried

**notthetindog** : but did you Succeed

**hellabihellafly** : sure let’s go with that

**fuzzygirl** : you know I don’t like that I have to keep bringing up the fact that I’m a cop

**notthetindog** : you get used to it

**donttouch** : i thought u were a mechaic??

**donttouch** : *mechanic

**notthetindog** : well yeah but it’s more of a hobby now really

**notthetindog** : me and martha also help out w law enforcement and government work and shit

**hellabihellafly** : *martha and I

**legs** : oswald i will remove ur spleen

**hellabihellafly** : I mean I’m not using it so

**legs** : i hate u

**hellabihellafly** : oh HARD same

**legs** : ok edgelord

**gayinspace** : hey oswald we learned something abt the doctor u should probably kno

**fuzzygirl** : oh!!

**hellabihellafly** : oh??

**fuzzygirl** : I asked the doctor about pronouns and she said she doesn’t really care which we use

**fuzzygirl** : but that she probably wouldn’t use male ones this time round

**fuzzygirl** : and also that if she had a male title before

**fuzzygirl** : like granddad

**fuzzygirl** : then she’d probably still use it

**gayinspace** : theyre still my space granddad!!!

**hellabihellafly** : oh good info to know!

**hellabihellafly** : can I still call her a grumpy old man

**fuzzygirl** : I mean probably?

**hellabihellafly** : n i c e

**legs** : n i c e

**legs** : altho oswald

**legs** : actually

**legs** : u did miss

**gayinspace** : no.

**legs** : something else

**gayinspace** : u missed nothing else

**legs** : well...........

**hellabihellafly** : oh???

**gayinspace** : u missed nOTHING ELSE

**donttouch** : no!!!!

**legs** : really we just never talking abt That again huh

**gayinspace** : we sure AINT

**stupidface** : let’s not!!

**notthetindog** : aw amy told you what it meant then

**stupidface** : I _really_ wish she hadn’t

**hellabihellafly** : .....i mean i could just read up the chat

**gayinspace** : its too late i already deleted the messages

**gayinspace** : and i WILL remove anyone who brings it back up this is a Warning

**fuzzygirl** : you can just remove people on here?? and delete messages??

**legs** : potts and jones can

**legs** : sometimes rory too

**stupidface** : I mean I don’t though

**legs** : but u could!!!

**gayinspace** : only ppl that the tardis likes ^-^

**gayinspace** : sucks to be the rest of u ^-^

**legs** : u g h

**gayinspace** : plus its always easiest if u try to block clara

**hellabihellafly** : yh the tardis  _really_ likes messing w me

**donttouch** : wait jones is?????

**actualdoctor** : it’s me ha

**actualdoctor** : Amy doesn’t tend to use first names

**legs** : the doctor i travelled with mostly used surnames ok i guess i just picked it up?

**legs** : and river tends to default to surnames w ppl too so

**legs** : also like i dont respect most of u enough to use ur names

**hellabihellafly** : bitch!!!!!!!!

**legs** : ye?

**donttouch** : but how do u get the tardis to like u????

**stupidface** : I think it just sort of happens??

**gayinspace** : i mean literally just be nice to her its not hard

**hellabihellafly** : it’s _very_ hard

**legs** : yh bc ur a bitch

**hellabihellafly** : thanks I work very hard at it

**hellabihellafly** : but also she started it??

**actualdoctor** : does one of us really have to say the ‘I don’t care who started it’ thing

**actualdoctor** : like aren’t you literally a teacher

**hellabihellafly** : not anymore!

**hellabihellafly** : and technically she was mad w me for something I hadn’t done yet so

**notthetindog** : but wasn’t the thing you did like. really bad

**hellabihellafly** : calling her names???

**notthetindog** : i mean i meant like the whole

**notthetindog** : um

**notthetindog** : with the volcano?

**hellabihellafly** : ah.

**fuzzygirl** : ???

**notthetindog** : yeah

**hellabihellafly** : Let’s Not Shall We

**hellabihellafly** : I don’t like thinking abt that time

**gayinspace** : friends dont judge friends bad decisions made while in a depression spiral

**hellabihellafly** : I wasn’t in a depression spiral

**gayinspace** : yh im not gonna even begin to unpack that

**legs** : i mean theres a little judgement

**legs** : but also i know what id do for rory

**stupidface** : and I know what I'd do for Amy

**legs** : so

**notthetindog** : sorry for bringing it up clara

**hellabihellafly** : it's fine mickey

**donttouch** : is this one of those things we dont talk abt?

**hellabihellafly** : it sure isn’t !

**gayinspace** : you know friends also dont let friends repress in a majorly unhealthily way tho

**hellabihellafly** : what were we talking about again

**gayinspace** : _oswald_

**hellabihellafly** : oh yeah the tardis has admin privileges and she can give them to other ppl

**gayinspace** : hhhhhhhh

**hellabihellafly** : :)

**gayinspace** : fine

**gayinspace** : the tardis has admin privileges and she can give them to other ppl

**hellabihellafly** : did you just. copy paste my message

**gayinspace** : do u think i cba to type all that

**hellabihellafly** : ........fair

**fuzzygirl** : um

**fuzzygirl** : did she make this place then??

**gayinspace** : idk

**actualdoctor** : probably??

**hellabihellafly** : nope

**gayinspace** : wait sorry what

**legs** : ?????

**legs** : how do u KNOW that?????

**hellabihellafly** : ???

**hellabihellafly** : I asked her???

**donttouch** : u can talk to the tardis?????

**hellabihellafly** : I mean not anymore

**hellabihellafly** : but like doesn’t anyone else talk to her??

**legs** : yh but she never talked back???????

**stupidface** : apart from that one time

**legs** : yeah :’)

**hellabihellafly** : oh

**actualdoctor** : well uh

**legs** : OH??????

**actualdoctor** : I never got actual words but sometimes she’d uh

**actualdoctor** : like it was like I could feel her reactions in my head??

**hellabihellafly** : yeah! that’s what it was like!

**stupidface** : oh!! yeah me too

**legs** : ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? WHAT???????

**legs** : YALL JUST FELT THE TARDIS IN YOUR HEADS AND NEVER THOUGHT TO BRING IT UP?????

**actualdoctor** : you never asked!! and I just thought everyone did!!

**gayinspace** : wait!!!!

**gayinspace** : like sometimes the doctor would do smth stupid and it would feel like there was a laugh in ur head???

**actualdoctor** : yeah!!!

**hellabihellafly** : all the time!!

**legs** : like am i in the twilight zone now or????

**notthetindog** : same :/

**fuzzygirl** : yeah the tardis has never? been in my head? I hope?

**donttouch** : same?

**gayinspace** : i mean technically shes always in ur head

**fuzzygirl** : wHAT

**donttouch** : itd be p cool tho

**donttouch** : sorry shes WHAT now

**actualdoctor** : it’s how you’re able to understand different languages

**actualdoctor** : she translates for you

**fuzzygirl** : but we haven’t needed that?

**gayinspace** : uv only been to places where they speak english?????

**gayinspace** : or uh w/e language ur speaking i guess

**gayinspace** : doctor wyd

**donttouch** : english yh

**donttouch** : and we did but we had different translators??

**donttouch** : and since then we havent left the tardis so

**legs** : youve WHAT

**fuzzygirl** : yeah she’s been trying to take us home but she hasn’t managed to land in the right place yet

**legs** : how long has she been trying????

**donttouch** : uh........

**fuzzygirl** : three days??

**fuzzygirl** : I’ve definitely slept twice but idk if that counted as night

**notthetindog** : so their driving hasn't changed then huh

**gayinspace** : wait

**gayinspace** : do u want to go home???

**fuzzygirl** : yeah?? we didn’t exactly ask to go on this trip

**donttouch** : yh she did kind of accidently kidnap us

**gayinspace** : um

**fuzzygirl** : what??

**gayinspace** : well uh

**actualdoctor** : the tardis added you to this, and she can see the future

**actualdoctor** : if you’re here, then it means you’re going to stay

**gayinspace** : ^^^

**fuzzygirl** : we don’t have a choice???

**legs** : hey of course u do u always have a choice

**actualdoctor** : yeah there’s lots of different possible futures and she might be looking at the wrong one?

**actualdoctor** : god I hate time travel

**notthetindog** : no you don’t

**actualdoctor** : maybe so

**donttouch** : well

**donttouch** : i mean uh

**donttouch** : what if i want to stay w her

**fuzzygirl** : ry??

**donttouch** : well i mean like! we were on a planet yaz!!! a real alien planet!!!!

**donttouch** : we met aliens!!!!

**donttouch** : and i dont really um

**donttouch** : want to go back home yet so

**fuzzygirl** : oh

**donttouch** : dont u want to stay??

**fuzzygirl** : idk!

**fuzzygirl** : I mean what abt my life?? and my family??

**fuzzygirl** : what if something goes wrong out here???

**hellabihellafly** : hey so um

**hellabihellafly** : I have an idea?

**hellabihellafly** : if she misses your home again then maybe uh

**notthetindog** : she probably will

**hellabihellafly** : maybe the next time the tardis lands you could convince the doctor to let you all go explore?

**hellabihellafly** : have an adventure

**hellabihellafly** : like a trial run

**hellabihellafly** : see if you like this kind of thing?

**donttouch** : yaz it couldnt hurt???

**fuzzygirl** : I mean

**fuzzygirl** : I guess?

**fuzzygirl** : this thing _is_ really cool

**fuzzygirl** : okay!

**donttouch** : !!!!

**fuzzygirl** : next time the doctor tries we’ll get her to let us have a look round

**donttouch** : YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

**fuzzygirl** : should be p soon actually

**fuzzygirl** : what attempt will this be? 13??

**donttouch** : 14!!!!

**donttouch** : i cant wait!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, rewatching s8 & 9: wow! they were both just really depressed huh!

**Author's Note:**

> i'll add names to this later but it's midnight i gotta sleep
> 
> talk to me @yesokayiknow on tumblr !


End file.
